A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
