i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
