Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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