I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
