Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
