I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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