After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize