I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize