she was so not down for the gang bang
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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