Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
