this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You did what with his pubic hair?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
