i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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