I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
