I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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