the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
