OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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