Just cropdusted the office
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
