Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
