Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
