I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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