I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
