lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
