I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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