D3 body, D1 cock
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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