I heard we made out
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize