He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
