Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
