video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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