why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
