Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize