Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
