Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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