i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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