So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
