I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
