I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
