I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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