I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
