She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
