A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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