you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
