This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
