i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
pray to the hookup gods
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
