No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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