I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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