so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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