He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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