why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
