Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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