I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
