this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
