u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The air was thick with penises
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
