i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
