my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize