oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
