I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize