Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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