I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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