just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
