Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How many fucks given?
0.12846
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
