If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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