How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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