I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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