Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
