i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
