my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
