she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
