is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Girls should come with a carfax report
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
