Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
