she looked like the before picture.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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