It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
