hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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